


Go The F*** To Sleep, Steve Kornacki!

by bluegeekEM



Category: Go the Fuck to Sleep - Adam Mansbach, Pundit & Broadcast Journalist RPF (US)
Genre: 2020 US Presidential Election, A Parody of a Parody, Crossover/Mashup with the "Go The Fuck To Sleep" book, Election Coverage, Gen, Get Steve Kornacki To Sleep Properly, MSNBC Live, Steve Kornacki Never Sleeps, Strong Language, bedtime story, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:13:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27431824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluegeekEM/pseuds/bluegeekEM
Summary: The 2020 US Election Coverage is drawing on and on and somehow Steve Kornacki, "the map guy," just keeps on going.  Something will have to be done.  Fortunately, Ali Velshi is on standby to help wrangle Steve and ensure that his post won't go unguarded while he sleeps.
Comments: 32
Kudos: 44





	Go The F*** To Sleep, Steve Kornacki!

**Author's Note:**

> So, things are... challenging here in the US. The 2020 elections are still being determined, tensions are running high, and accusations are flying. Amidst the flurry of political jockeying, however, there is Steve Kornacki. Crunching numbers, offering insights, education, and estimates, as well as some questionably unintentional comedic relief as we appreciate his dedication to informing his audience of what the hell all this information means. A good friend started to hype Kornacki to me a few days ago, and this is the tweet and video that really kickstarted my idea for this particular fanwork: [the internet loves an earnest, anxious gay in glasses](https://twitter.com/kaytaylorrea/status/1324838038782947328).

Step away from the big board and breathe, Steve.  
You’ve been working so hard on that map.  
I think it’s past time for some sleep, my friend.  
Have a break. Go lay down. Take a nap.

You're swaying on your feet in the studio.  
You are certainly risking a mishap.  
When did you last rest or eat, buddy?  
What?! You need to have a fucking nap!

Hand over your clipboard this instant.  
Yes, I’ll take good care of it, you sap.  
Next, give me your pens. No, all of them.  
Lie down, close your eyes, and fucking nap.

I know the election’s important, Steve.  
And the outcome could change in a snap.  
Passing out on-air won’t help, you know  
Please at least catnap.

I swapped your last venti with decaf, Map Daddy  
Have some soup. No it’s not a trap.  
Sit down, here’s a spoon, please eat something.  
Then go the fuck down for a nap.

Your tie’s fallen into the soup bowl, Steve.  
You’re really dragging, old chap.  
This schedule’s catching up with all of us.  
It’s time to take a fucking nap.

I’ll have a large Diet Coke on standby,  
To accompany you while you recap.  
When you awaken, I’ll give it to you.  
Until then, please have a fucking nap.

Did you pack a change of clothes, Steve?  
No? Well I’ll send an intern to the Gap.  
You’re still insisting on khakis and a button down?  
Fine. Whatever. Fucking nap.

Go lie down in the break room  
What’s that sound? Are you checking a politics app?  
Hand it over right this instant, Steve  
Get on that couch and take a nap.

Yes, I removed the Keurig.  
There’ll only be water from the tap.  
No more running on caffeine and stubbornness, Steve  
Give in and take a fucking nap.

Are you smuggling in a calculator, Steve?  
I swear, I could give you a slap.  
Put your work down for an hour or two  
And just have a fucking nap.

If you must, dream of numbers and spreadsheets  
Or trends and pathways and crap.  
It’ll all still be waiting when you arise.  
For now, just take a fucking nap.

Don’t make me take extreme measures, Steve.  
I’ll call the plan Operation: Kidnap.  
Your fans will certainly mourn their lost “chartthrob”  
So please just have a fucking nap.

It’s been less than an hour, Steve  
Are you sure that sleep’s a wrap?  
Alright, fine, but I’ll be back this afternoon  
For Part Two: Revenge of the Nap.

**Author's Note:**

> Here are some of the articles I read as "research" (lol):   
> [Who Is Steve Kornacki?](https://www.tvinsider.com/955907/steve-kornacki-msnbc-election-2020-big-board/)  
> [6 Things To Know About MSNBC's Steve Kornacki](https://people.com/tv/msnbc-steve-kornacki-6-things-to-know/)  
> [Steve Kornacki Has At Least Been Forced To Take A Break](https://www.vulture.com/2020/11/steve-kornacki-msnbc-told-to-rest-after-election-coverage.html)  
> [MSNBC's Steve Kornacki keep going. And going. And going.](https://www.washingtonpost.com/media/2020/11/04/steve-kornacki-msnbc-election-map-board/)
> 
> A few additional, somewhat related gems:  
> [Steve has a calculator](https://twitter.com/Lesdoggg/status/1324614712345022464)  
> [Leslie Jones is VERY CONCERNED about the whereabouts of Steve](https://twitter.com/AliVelshi/status/1324830983422697473)  
> [Ali has a nice personality, but Ali is not Steve](https://twitter.com/Lesdoggg/status/1324832691171160065)  
> [Steve seemingly humbled by his praise](https://twitter.com/morning_joe/status/1325120721345916929?s=21)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Go The F*** To Sleep, Steve Kornacki! [Podfic]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27440503) by [blackglass](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackglass/pseuds/blackglass)




End file.
